Look at this everybody, my first web pic on my blog! Thanks Karen for hookin a sista up!:)

Anyway, this blog is actually about the Pizza Hut commercials that insist on using a doorbell sound at the end of it. Millie goes nuts whenever it comes on. I'm not kidding, she is so insistent that someone is at our door, I can't get her to stop barking. Do they create these commercial spots just to drive us dog owners, such as myself, crazy? So....pizza anyone?

Forever alone?


As you have read before, I often go through this feeling of being alone every so often. I have hesitated writing about it this time, because from experience, I know people can get sick of hearing about it. Just be HAPPY already! I have even lost friends in part because of my reoccurring depression. The thing is, I have made a lot of choices in my life to not be alone. I have moved states to not be alone. I have tried to keep a bad boyfriend to not be alone. I have kept certain friends just to not be alone. But here I am anyway. Alone. I have been spending a lot of time on my own for the last couple of months. I like being on my own much of the time, but I need to have a social outlet. I need it! And I don't have that anymore except at work. But now my life consists of: work, home, work, home, etc. I do not have close friends here anymore. I am trying to find ways to make friends, but I lack the talent Karen has:). It's hard for me. Now, because I didn't want to alone, I have no family near me for support. My best friends are far away. I miss my social outlets with people that really do care about me. I love reading all my blog friends stories about their lives, but it has been making me feel so envious. I want what you guys have so much. But because I tried so hard to not be alone, it turns that alone is where I am at anyway.

Now, I know I have some great things going for me. And I do hold out hope that it won't always be this way. I try not to just sit on my butt and take it. I started going to a new church that I hope that I will get more entrenched in. Pray for me to find a way to serve. I started playing golf again, and will be taking lessons out at Ft. Carson in May, a women's clinic. Pray that I can make some friends. I keep going to the dog park, and try to talk to people. Pray that Millie stops chewing on their dogs! I have gardening to do. I now have money to work on my backyard. I have stuff going for me. I just hate that I am doing so many things alone. The joy and solitude I use to feel is fading. Ok, Before you say anything, yes I know God is with me. I am grateful for that, believe me. I think I have stopped blaming him for my aloneness. I know that he is still redirecting my life away from people who are not good for me, and eventually, I hope, towards people who are. But, why does this holding period feel like it is going to take forever! I need some boosts here my friends. I need to feel your hugs from across the Internet waves. Thank you for being there, even so far away.

WHY

rest in peace Virgina Tech. students

We may have a winner!

I tried another new church today, and I actually came out with a smile. I went to Springs Calvary Church. It is fairly new, so therefore small, but the church has a comfy feeling about it. It has a small congregation, but with a nice variety of young and old. The only problem I could see right away is that it lacks in color diversity. But you can't win them all. The sermon was great. The pastor did a nice job of really diving deep into the background of the verse we were going over today. He made it very interesting and funny at the same time. They also have the contemporary live christian band that I love having in a church service. They have a ways to go as far as what they offer for small groups, but they do have an Adult Study that meets Wed. nights. I like that if they don't have anything specifically for singles, they also don't have a group just for marrieds. All Adults meet together. I like that fact that I could possibly get to know a variety of people. And bonus, I already know a few people there. One of my teachers, and a former teacher of mine go there with their husbands. So, I am thinking that I will return for awhile and see where this takes me.

Why is it that all my true friends are all scattered? If I could I would steal all of my best friends from their lives, and my immediate family, and bring them all here. How have I gotten myself in this weird situation. I live in a place I love, I don't want to leave it. Yet I am far away from everyone I care about. Just feeling a little lonely today, that's all. The girls in this picture with me are great friends from way back in highschool. Suree is in the middle, and Janet is next to her. It really feels that whenever we get together, we have never been a part. I love that. I also know I can say that about all my true friends. I love you all, and you know who you are!:)

Happy Birthday Rooby! She is 4 years old today! So, it is hereby Rooby day from here on out. She got a tummy rub this morning first off. For breakfast, she got a treat on her breakfast food. Now she is happily chewing on her B-day Ribeye Bone. If the weather cooperates, we plan on going to her favorite place on earth, and mine, Bear Creek Dog Park! There will be lots of dog napping after that. Oh, and Millie and I sang happy birthday during her tummy rub. What a day!

Ah Millie

Dear sweet increasingly misunderstood Millie. Millie has been with us for 10 months now. She has really calmed down a lot since she first came here, but I keep learning new things about her, and have to adjust how I do things to be able to counteract her newest quirk. This last time that I went home, I took both dogs again because it went so well last time. Only this time I decided not to give her Benadryl . Things did go well for a while, except for the day I had her at my mom's new house. We were there to bring things over and to meet my cousin who was taking the Kids playhouse that was left behind by the previous owners. He brought his little girl with him, who likes dogs and is use to being around them. Mom and I were inside eating lunch with my dogs. Arin came in too and started playing with Rooby, and as per Rooby's MO, she started using her load "play-with-me" puppy bark. This confuses Millie, I've seen her reaction at the dog park. Millie thinks that Rooby is in trouble and needs protection. She immediately starts barking, and not a playful bark, a serious one. She then advances. Millie did this with Arin. I grabbed her right away and had to keep her by my side the whole time Arin was in the house. I was really worried that she would bite Arin, although I really can't see Millie actually biting anyone. She doesn't bite other dogs at the dog park, but she does do a herding move that looks like she is biting, but she is nipping and pushing the dog away from Rooby. This worried me though, because she wouldn't stop barking. Once we were back home in CO, I was dog sitting Bubba and Dell. Liz can over to pick them up. Millie has stayed at Liz's house a couple of times. But when they came in, Rooby started her excited barking, and Millie went into her aggressive mode again. I had to hold her the whole time. The weird part was that Liz let her smell her hand and petted her, and Millie licked her and continued to bark at her at the same time. At the dog park, Millie has to be on her leash much if the time. She is getting better at times, but I have to talk her through an encounter with a dog. I know that I must not be doing something right when people come over, some how I am not acting dominant enough or something, I don't know. Does anyone know what I should be doing? Millie is really so sweet, and I know that she thinks she needs to protect her family, but I need her to learn that difference between playing and someone attacking us. You know, without someone actually attacking us!;)

Happy Easter!

Every year Karen and I have tried to keep this tradition going. I think it has been going on since College, right? Anyway, we surprise each other with a Cream Egg. Some years we, or I, have forgotten. I got one from Karen this year, and I totally wasn't expecting it! Thank you for putting a smile on my face today, it was a great surprise. Yours is in the mail!;)

Say goodbye to the only childhood home that counts for me.

This past week was really good for me, and my mom. Even though my mom was sick with Bronchitis the whole week, we worked hard on this house to get it ready for sale. It was good bonding time for my mom and I, and I got to say goodbye to some good childhood memories. The front yard tree, is my tree that we planted when I was pretty little, like 5 or 6 years old I think. Mom worked very hard to make this house as cute as it is now. It has been a labor of love. Plus, it is the house that has been in our family the longest, and really the best childhood memories I think I have had were here. We moved a lot growing up, so this house is special. I lived here when I was 5 or 6 until the 4th grade before moving to Rapid. Then, after I graduated from high school, mom and Brook moved back to this very house in Spearfish. Mom has lived here every since. But now, it is time for my mom to live out her dream by moving to her own property with her horses. This has been a difficult time for my mom. She has been trying since December to get this house ready for sale while working on her new place. The whole process has been very overwhelming, I know I have mentioned that before. Brook tries to help when he can, although graduating from college is a very important priority right now. She has received help here and there, but it hasn't been enough. I have been getting worried about my mom, because she is a very hard worker and tends to push herself too much when she has a goal. She has been sick too often if you ask me, and attempting to do too much by herself. So, I decided to come home for Spring break to help her out. It was hard work but so rewarding. I was surprised to find out that the day I was due in Spearfish, mom got Bronchitis! So, we took it easy the first day, but you can't keep my mom down when she wants something done. We worked everyday until Thurs. when there happened to be a blizzard! My goal was to get that house done, which we nearly accomplished! All that was left when I went to Rapid was to clear out her shed and replace door knobs. I am glad that mom and I had this time together even though she was sick. And I feel rewarded for all we accomplished. So, goodbye little house. I hope the next people who live in you love you as much as we did.

Well, I am off to SD tomorrow for a week of painting and handy work! Doesn't that sound like a perfect Spring Break to you? So, that means drugs for Millie so she can handle the trip, and grumpiness for Rooby when she is at the Grandparents house because of lack of freedom. Not to mention the zoo of animals that will be there. Shall I list them all? Well, there are my grampa's pets: Cedar, Tia, & the orange cat that lives outside. Then we have my mom's cats, Jade & Torrie. All cozy together in one house....with my two cat crazy, Rooby not crazy for Cedar, dogs! Wish me luck. And pray that I don't poop out on my mom. I need some extra motivation to work as hard as I can for her. I hope I can keep track of blogs while I am gone, but I may not be by a computer much. Until later!

Poochie pics for k~. The first dog is Rooby, and Millie is behind her. Aren't they cute?!

I had already written a long story about
my trip to Orlando, Florida, but my com-
puter, after waiting for DIAL-UP to down
load more pictures, conked out on me! So,
all I can say now is: "Have a magical day"!

I HATE DIAL-UP! SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESH!

Taking care of Mommy

I worried, but I shouldn't have. My mom has gotten in over her head lately by buying her dream property. Reason being, she has a lot of work to do. She is trying to get her current house ready for sale, and get her new property inhabitable for herself and her horses. On the new house, she needs to put in a door, get her floors redone, repair the stucco outside, paint, and a number of other small projects. On the new property, there are fences to fix and add in, a barn to put up, numerous projects to complete in the house if she sells the trailer or keeps it. That is still up in the air. There's junk to haul off, porch to replace, etc., etc., etc. It has been extremely overwhelming for her, and she is still working full time! My brother is trying to help, but can only come once a week because of school. My mom has been trying to do much of this by herself. She doesn't ask for help, even though she should. To make things even more fun, she has one horse at my Grandparents, and another horse across town at a friends house. Because of family circumstances, mom couldn't keep both horses at GP's house. So, this means a lot of traveling around. For a while, her friend that was keeping the one horse, was helping her out. But suddenly, this "friend" announced that mom needed to not only pay for an electric fence, but now needs to feed Mudd herself morning and night. There is no way my mom can pull that off and still work on getting her houses together. She has been sick for the past week or so, working herself ragged. I have been worried. She is no Spring Chicken you know, and she has been working hard. So, last weekend, my mom decided that she has no other choice but to, in one day, repair her fences, put up a temporary shelter, haul hay (BY HERSELF), and move her horses onto the property. This was killing me, because I couldn't come help, and Brook was out of town. I prayed, but I prayed that my mom's health would not suffer all this. I didn't pray for help. I thought I needed to do something on my own, so I emailed my aunt, who has been feuding with mom over the other horse not at mt GP's house. I asked her if she could help mom or find someone who can. I stressed that I was worried that mom would end up really hurting herself, and that she can't pay anyone. Well, I shouldn't have worried. When I called my mom for her Birthday, she blew me away with this story. She told me that my aunt came and helped her, and my aunt had not seen my email yet, when my gramma said that mom had a bad headache. Not only that, but she got my cousin Troy to help with hay bales. That alone I was so grateful for. But mom wasn't done yet. Then she told me that my gramma, as a B-day present, bought her a Handyman to help her get her old house ready for sale. NOT DONE YET! Then she told me that her boss at work pulled her aside and told her that he has noticed that mom looks overwhelmed and rundown lately, and asked of he could go out and see the new place. So, she took him and another guy from work out to the place. She told them what her plans were, and they left. One day, when mom was at work, they took the day off and went to the place and not only fixed her fences, they also put in a new gate, and hauled away all the junk on the property! Plus, they are going back to do some more work. They aren't asking for any money, they just want to help. After hearing all this, I just started to cry! God had it covered, and all I needed to do is trust him. He never ceases to amaze me.

Tick Tock!

Ok, so yesterday I was late for a Time Management Seminar. How's that for irony!

This is my favorite place on earth! The Bear Creek Dog Park. You can't tell from this picture, but there is a trail that goes around in a large circle, with several paths in and around it. Along the west side of it is a creek that Rooby loves to bathe in! This place is great, because not only do your dogs get exercise, but you do as well. You aren't just standing there in a dirt pit watching your dogs having a great time. You get to walk too. We have a ritual out here, mostly because I really want my poochies to play with other dogs, and really all Rooby wants to do is chase a ball, and Millie still isn't sure what the deal is here. So, we walk around with no ball thrower in hopes that they will play with dogs. Well, usually it doesn't always go this way. Rooby gets busy trying to steal everyone else's balls, then growls at the dog she just stole the ball from. I am apologizing and trying to reassure the dog owner that Rooby isn't as ferocious as she looks. Mean while, Millie is attacking the dog that just wants it's ball back. I am running around trying to leash Millie before the owner has an aneurysm. Millie gets leashed for awhile as punishment, and we move on. Not much playing with other dogs takes place, just lots of sniffing. If a dog even tries to play with Rooby, Millie goes into protective mode and attacks the poor pooch who was just trying to have fun. Sheesh! Millie leashed again. Well, we do have fun though. They jump in the creek, Rooby lays in it, not caring that it's freezing! Then, once we have gone around one time, I go get the ball thrower, which sends Rooby right into ball mode. It does not matter what is going on around her, all she cares about is that ball. I throw it, and they are off like rockets. It is still amazing that Rooby, age 3, is so fast! Millie doesn't really get the concept of catching and retrieving the ball, she just wants to chase after Rooby. They really do have a blast...except when Millie has to be on her leash, which sadly happened a lot today. Oh well, what can ya do. The last pic is of Rooby and Millie coming back after Rooby caught the ball. Hope you all had great weekends!

I miss my God.

God and I have been on a stand off for quite some time. I am being very stubborn about going to church by myself, so I have not been going. Instead I listen to church radio and drink my coffee on Sunday mornings. I know I am rebelling about going to church by myself. I am soooooo tired of going to church by myself, because I HAVE to. Now, I know it is ridiculous to to not only keep from going to church for this reason, but it is also ridiculous to try and win a stand off with the Lord! But still, I keep trying. Besides the company of my poochies, I do most things alone. God knows I hate being alone all the time. But for some reason, that is my reality. I have no family here, no real close friends, no husband, no one who will go to church with me. I know, wah! I'm really tired of wahing about it too! The truth is, I am really missing God. I miss feeling close to him. I haven't felt him that much at all lately. I feel like my life is at a stand still. I know too that it would be initially a good feeling to be at church with God, but inevitably, that loneliness feeling always creeps in. Seeing all the people there with family or friends. Then there is me, solo. I hate it. I know I know, some of you are say, "well then, get your butt to church!" I know. See, I have done that, I have joined small groups, I have become a member of a church, but that empty feeling remained. Today, I got myself up to go to church, although a half-n-hour late. I was going to go. I had picked out a church I wanted to check out. I made coffee, then went to pick out my clothes. That's when I went blank. I stood in front of my closet forever looking at my clothes. I stood there, and stood there. Until it was clear that I wouldn't have time to make it to church. This was the closest I have gotten in a long time to actually getting to church. But still a no go. I wish I could get past this and just go. Why am I being so, I don't know weird about this. Oh well, maybe next time.

thinkin......SPRING!

I found this at Wal-Mart for $16.95! There are a couple of different ones, so you know I am going back for another one! So, if you can't tell what this really is, it's a flower pot! It will be going in my backyard this spring. I have to say that this giant cup, made me so happy today! Now I really have the Spring Fever!

It was Mardi gras time in Manitou Springs this weekend. I have never been to this before, but I have heard that it gets pretty crazy. They have a parade that anyone can be in as long as you are wearing the costume. A lot of people did! I missed the parade, but really had my own parade just walking from my very far away parking spot. I was surprised that it actually was such a big deal. I thought I would see a few people in costume, but really most people dressed up. I will try and post some of the pics if I can so you can get the idea. First of all, those of you from the Black Hills area, Manitou to me has a Sturgis vibe only with Mountain people as opposed to Biker people. I'm really not sure what is going on in this picture, but here is an example of some of the tamer costumes. The next pic below this one gets a little crazier. You can see the Dreadlocks band in the background that is apparently a local favorite. Seriously, I don't want to think what is growing in their hair! Some of them had dreads down past the middle of their backs. The last pic is the creepiest. Where in the world would you get a mask like that! I was surprised I didn't have nightmares after seeing that one!

How many set ups does one have to endure before the right one comes along?! Seriously! Sometimes I wonder exactly what people are thinking when they try to set me up with someone. Do they even know me at all? Come on already! Ok, I know their hearts are in the right place, and the reason they are trying to set me up in the first place is because they like me and want to see me happy. Noted. But why on earth are they not keeping me in mind when they find someone to set me up with? Or maybe they are and I deserve the guys I have gone out with from Blind Dates, I don't know. I know I am not a beauty queen by any means, and I am not looking for the perfect looking guy, but you know when you get set up with a guy that you would not be REMOTELY attracted to, you have to wonder about yourself. Is this the type of guy they see me with? So, all my past set up stories aside, I will talk about a couple others later, I was set up with a guy that I went out with last night. My hair stylist's partner told me a few weeks ago, that he had the perfect guy for me. Now I have been going to my hair lady for the past three years. She has set me up several times, none of which have panned out. James, her partner, has heard me talk about what I want in a guy for a long time now, and has gotten to know me. And I have an open mind, you know, so I agreed to go out with this guy when James told me about him. I talked to this guy, Dale is his name, on the phone a couple of times. He seemed ok. Then I met him for dinner last night. He looked nothing like how he was described to me. He was barely taller than me. Balding, and had a handle-bar mustache. HANDLE-BAR MUSTACHE! Not only that, he was closer to 50 years old if he wasn't in fact 50. Seriously? He was nice though, so I went to dinner. Throughout the whole time I was with him, he swore like a trucker. He actually told me that his favorite word is the F-word. Nice. He also wanted to know what my favorite swear word was. Nice. He talked about himself the WHOLE time. I had to actually tell him to ask ME a question about me. Then when he did, and I attempted to answer, he interrupted me with another tale about...him. Urggg! Why do I even try to date. I have been set up with a cartoon-looking guy who was a workaholic and actually stood me up for a date because of work, and I was suppose to just understand. I once had a friend who tried to set me up with two different guys who were the biggest nerds. She, herself would have never dated either one of them for various reasons, but she thought I would? Should I be looking at this more closely? Maybe I am not very attractive myself, maybe I should be dating these guys. But really it's not just the physical reasons here. These are men that I have nothing at all in common with what-so-ever. What do I do here? I really don't want to discourage people from setting me up, because quite frankly it is the only way I date anymore. But I really don't want another one of these dates! I am so ungrateful, right? Sheesh!