My house, in the middle of the...........ok enough! Hee hee!! I so funny. Or, maybe I have had too much coffee this morning. That is most likely it.

Well, I wanted to tell the story of my house this time around. It's a much longer story than you would imagine, and different than you would imagine. It's not the typical story about girl wanting to buy a house. Girl finds realitor, girl searches house adds, girl finds house, and girl signs life away to buy house. No, it's a little more complicated than that. I haven't told that many people my story of how I got here for fear that I would be judged. I don't like being judged. I don't like the possibility of a negative spot light on me. So, because of that, I keep my faith mostly to myself. I am hoping that through this blog, I will be able to risk more. It's a start. Anyway, my story. A couple of years ago, everything was all wrong, only I didn't know it. I was living in Denver, I had what I thought was a good job. I had a boyfriend whom I thought loved me. And I had two cats. I was basically living my life for myself, and practically living with my boyfriend by default. I was suppose to be living in my friend's basement, but it flooded, so I stayed at his house. At first, with him I felt a strong pull to bring him to church. We found a great church that friends of ours were going to. It was great at first because I felt us getting closer and him getting to know God. But it didn't last long. Seemed to me that one minute we were connecting through God, then the next we were being pulled apart. A couple of factors came about. First, he had to work in California for awhile through his job. So, he was gone a lot. Then there was talk about him possibly being transferred to LA. All scary for me. Things with us were always up in the air, and I felt him pulling away. Then, I had to move my cats into a basement bedroom at his house. He was not a cat lover, so it was tence from the start. He would not allow the cats to be anywhere else in the house but that room. Consequently, they made messes in there. I cleaned it all up and was finally able to move them to my friends basement where I was suppose to live, but things had drastically changed. Long story short, we broke up a couple of times before breaking up for good. I couldn't understand at all. I thought God was bringing my boyfriend & I closer to each other and to him. What was happening??!!! That was the first major loss. Next came the cats. I adopted the dog that my ex-boyfriend & I had shared. The cats were aweful to be around. They would attach Rooby, and then one day Sissy attacked both Rooby & I. I had to make a very hard decision for me. I had to get rid of Sissy. Those of you who know me really well, know how gut wrenching that was for me. I gave her away, and when I did that Jada went bazzerk. She was doing things in the house that was not ok since I was renting from my friend who owned the house. That was the next big decision. I couldn't believe it, I hated myself so much. I cried for months after I gave her away. I felt like I gave up on them. So, here I was pretty low. I lost my boyfriend & my cats. Through all this I was going to church by myself every Sunday. Church was therapy for me, I think I cried every Sunday. Then the third big loss happened. I lost my job. I couldn't believe it! Granted, my boss had it out for me from day one, and she and other co-workers wanted to see me fail. But I was finally making enough money to not only live on but to have some fun with! How could this all be happening to me in such a short time frame? I didn't know what I was going to do. I had just moved to a cute cottage two months earlier, signed a lease & everything. I was devastated...again. All I did for a long while is cry & pray. I prayed like I never prayed before. I knew this was about trust. Trusting God to take care of me despite the circumstances. Most of you know that I do not trust easily. Not anyone. For the first time, I really felt God leading me towards something, I just wasn't quite sure to where. When I was offered two jobs, one in Denver & one in the Springs, I knew which one God wanted me to take. But if I chose that one, that would mean moving!! He can't be serious! Plus, it was a very hard job filled with more responsibility than I have ever had before. But somehow I knew it was the job in the Springs as a Coordinator back at my old agency I left as a teacher three years ago. I was going to supervise teachers, weird! It wasn't so easy, moving. I have to find the money, a new place to live, & break a lease. The breaking of the lease was not going to prove that easy. My landlord gave me a very hard time. And, I felt horrible. But, now here I was moving back to Colorado Springs, starting a new job, a renewed sense of faith, my dog, and new place to live. Well, you would think that the story would end there, but my friend, God doesn't always work that way. No, before I could get use to living in a new place, with a dog instead of cats, and a new job I never thought worthy of. No, he had to get me to take the leap and buy a house! Me! Seriously, I always thought I would be married before I bought a house. I NEVER wanted to do this alone. I didn't think it was possible to do this alone. But, that's what God is teaching me about trust. That I can do this, but not alone, with him. So, here I am living in my modest but full of potential home, with my two dogs, and even a new car! Yikes. I won't lie, sometimes I think God is nuts, and I have several moments that I just know I can't pull this off. Then God reminds me of where I am now, and who put me here. I guess this would be my testimony. I always wondered if I would ever have a testimony. Well, here it is.