Some of you may recall that I wrote a story not long ago about Bubba. I think I wrote about him peeing in my house before my mom and gramma got here. Bubba can drive me crazy at times. He is always under your feet, I can't tell you all the times I have tripped over him! He has also never really been potty trained. But when he looks at you with his big brown eyes...well I melt. Rooby and Bubba have been in love, literally, since they met when he was a puppy. He has also been a guest at out house numerous times. Bubba is sick now. He is losing liver function. It came on suddenly in the last couple of days. He started bloating quite a lot, and his bones are severely showing. The vet has given Bubba a month at least to live. He is only three years old! Liz, his mommy, says that the vet thinks that he must have been eating food or treats that were under the recall. Liz has been careful to stay away from the recalled food, but she has a couple of neighbors who love to feed him over the fence. She is thinking that is how he got sick. Rooby and I went to go see him today, and he really looks terrible, but sweet as ever. We will keep stopping by until he passes. That will be a hard day. I really love that dog, he is one of my own.
This was me yesterday. All I have to say is....ahhhhhh! Karen & Jen sent me a much needed B-day present, a Gift Certificate to a spa! I got an all body massage and a facial that was more like a facial massage. It was wonderful, and a good end to a stressful week. I left feeling happy and sleepy. Thank you Karen & Jen! I smell good!:)
I want a life too! Before I get started on my next therapy blog, I do apologize for bring anyone down. I just can't shake this all encompassinglonely feeling that has taken over my life. I just can't figure out what I am doing wrong here. I think that God wants me to be alone to be with him. Well, I am but this miserable feeling of being alone won't go away. I don't even usually feel his presence. Yesterday was my birthday, and for the first time ever, I spent it entirely alone, with the poochies of course, but you know what I mean. If it weren't for the many calls I received from friends and family far away, I would have really sunk into depression, so thank you! I took the dogs on a MUCH needed hike, if you read my last blog you would know that they haven't had much excitement. It was a great hike, and so nice to be in the mountains. Then I went home and painted my toes, and watched TV. Today, I feel the depression. It comes in waves. I read all your blogs and can't help to feel a little jealous. I want a life too. I want friends, I want a husband, and want to be fulfilled. I know no one out there has the perfect life, and I don't want perfection, I just want this horrible alone feeling to go away. What am I doing wrong? I talk to God all the time. I am going to church. I have cut out things in my life that are bad for me for the most part. I am ready for God to lead me. And yet, I remain in this holding pattern. I don't feel him. I am tired of sounding pathetic and sad. I want to write about more positive things, I really do. But nothing, out side of work is happening. On a good note, the worst of work is over for now, I can breath again. Still have a lot to do, but now at a more normal pace. Anyway, I don't want to feel like I am being punished somehow, cuz I know that is not how God works. I guess I could use your words of wisdom once again my friends.
Where in the world is Chris? Some of you may be wondering that. I haven't been blogging much, and that includes reading every one's blogs. I have been so buried at work. This time of year is the worst for me, and it has been busy this summer, especially in the last few weeks. I'll break it down for ya. In May, we were told that there will be many changes that we would have to make sure happened because it is good for the agency. First, we were going to be changing our primary program model from Year Round to School Year. We still will have some YR's, but mostly SR. As you can imagine this effects staff paychecks. Then we were told that a number of our classroom sites were going to have to move for various reasons. We have to coordinate these moves plus license their new locations. THEN, we were told that we would be adding 7 brand new sites, each on a small budget including putting in new playgrounds, again we have to coordinate all this and license them. For the new sites, we have to order a complete classroom worth of materials. This normally takes $20,000, we were given $12,000. It is very difficult to order from scratch. You have to think of everything possible a classroom would need to meet all our Health, Fire, and Licensing requirements. I have been work on 3 moves, and licensing 3 different sites, one of which is brand new. So, the 7 new sites requires 3 staff each, so lots of hiring. This includes all the people who resigned. We do the hiring also. So, this is all bad enough. However, it is all coming to a head at the same time we have New Teacher training week, and then our annual CPCD College week when all staff comes back for more training. We do all the trainings for New Teacher, and two days worth during CPCD College. I have been spending so much time working on my classrooms, that yesterday and several nights this last week, were the only times I have had to prepare for training. I stayed at work last night until 7pm, and worked nights until 10pm, and I will be going in Sunday. So, I haven't had anytime to even read blogs! I am missing you all, and hope I can get life to slow down here soon, maybe the end of August, to be able to catch up with you all. Pray for me that I can get though this pace without cracking too much, I already have a few times! Here's to slower times.