Ok, so not much interest in my quest for sound dating advice. Even so, I am going to plug away, even if I am only writing this for myself. I know most of my friends maybe can't relate to me since you all have been married for so long, and I am...well 40 and still single. So, I decided to be open about my blog idea for dating advice that I will swear to follow to the letter to people I hang out with outside of my blog circle. I have not jumped in to the cyber dating world yet, I am in a spending freeze right now. So that will have to wait for now. Not discounting it, just can't afford it. There is also this little voice telling me not to yet.
I told my friend Tara about my plan, we started talking about all the silly ways I could meet guys. We were sitting at this great new tapas place drinking wine, when our very cute waiter came up. I was feel flirty, and said something breezy to him, but he walked away before he really even had a chance to hear me. He wasn't even flirting for a good tip! I had already drank a full glass of yummy wine, so I said as much, but I guess a little louder than I intended. Tara was laughing, and said 'uh, that was really loud!' He wasn't very talkative the whole time we were there, but after this incident, he seemed to smile more at me, and linger slightly. I then thought, maybe he isn't a flirty type of guy, maybe he is shy. Tara's boyfriend came in then. We got him up to speed with what we were talking about. Cute waiter came by, then left. Dan, Tara's man, said he's interested. I said, how do you know? He said because the guy looked you in the eye. Dan then asked if I had a card. I didn't, so he found something I could write on. He then said write him a short note and give him your number, what do you have to lose? I decided, yeah, worse-comes-to-worse I will have least made him feel good. So, I wrote a short note & my number. Dan took the card, and stayed behind when we left. Dan gave the waiter the card. When Dan came out, Tara asked what happened? Dan said he was all teeth:) So, you never know. Anyway, I did it. I jumped out of my tight comfort zone, and gave the advice a shot. You know what it was fun! Now what??
12 comments:
That is the key sugar... be a little forward but don't lean in and have your chin hanging over your feet! Men like to be pursued, trust you me!!
Bon chance, chere!
I am sorry our advice wasn't very helpful. I think you already knew what you had to do anyway. It isn't HOW you get out there-online, flirting, dating groups. It is like you said, you have to take a chance somehow.
Oh man, hope I didn't sound like a brat. I didn't intend to. I just figured since not many people were writing anything, maybe people didn't know what to say. Cher, your advice is good. I think I need to really think about doing that again because of the cost, but it was not bad advice at all! Mark, thank you!
okay, stromer, i did not comment on the internet dating thing cause to be honest, personal experience has taught me that it's fairly artificial and unfulfilling to participate in...
i agree with cher, flirting and being open to people when you meet them is good. i flirt all the time with waiters!! i also flirt with gas station attendants and the ups guy. it's important to not forget that you are a girl, and one of the best ways to do that is to flirt.
have fun, be open to the kind of people God places in your path, and have FAITH in His plan!!!
oh, and if we don't give advice, it's because most of us don't know who God has picked out for you...yet :)
I appreciate that, Bobbi. I think bottom ine, I am bored with waiting around, and I am lonely. I know God is doing his work in his own time, I do have respect for that. But I am tired of sitting around waiting for life to happen to me. So, I thought it would be fun to do this dating experiment. I wasn't really looking for the online dating thing. I thought it would be fun to try out new ideas of meeting people and see what happens from there. I needed you ideas to help me climb out of my comfort zone, but I think I did not explain this very well.
well, okay, one little tip. a good friend of mine (who had many many very very bad relationships in her past) shared with me advice on how she met her husband.
she made a list of the most important qualities that she wanted the guy to have. she prayed to God, and promised she would NOT stray from the list. when she met her future husband, she was not particularly attracted to him, because he was so unlike other men she had been with before.
however, she kept the list. he fit the list. and they are now happily married with 2 kids.
i notice you generally talk about looks. what else is on your list? get with God and make a lengthy one ;)
oh ps. the important thing is not so much that the guy have every single thing on the list. God is not Oprah, and he is not glorified by being a magic genie.
the important stuff is when the guy has traits NOT ON THE LIST. my friend calls them deal breakers. girls with bad relationships (i know this) always, always ignore the deal breakers :)
Excellent advice Bobbi! Chris-you are too funny. You aren't being bratty at all, you should know by now that my adivice is always very "matter of fact":) but all the advice in the world won't help if you don't get out there and just BE! Which you just did with the waiter, so celebrate those baby steps.
I'm for the list! I had a Minimum Standards List myself...and the Wonder Hub met all but one of the standards.
Fortunately, that one was not a deal breaker...it was "No one in the military!"
karen, that is almost kind of humorous.
Love Bobbi's advice. I think it's key that you don't sit around waiting for life to happen for you, but have you thought about what God wants you to do with that life? Have you reached out in ministry? Have you looked into ways that God can use you? It may be that you will find your Mr. Right when you step out and do something for God. I don't mean this in a way to signify that you aren't doing anything for God, but pray and ask Him if there is anywhere He'd like for you to step up and be a part of that is different from what you are already doing.
Also- I have known of two couples from my church that met through a Yahoo singles group, or something like that, and they are very happily married. Might be worth checking out. And- have you checked into singles groups in your area? I know in Denver they are pretty active.
Praying for you!!!
Good advice, thanks Kris! It has been on my heart to do something out there in service to God. NOt sure yet what that should be. Also need more time, so hopefully when I get done with my silly Masters I can have a life.
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